Steffen and Britt: an AU love story
The romance between two AU students called Steffen and Britt started at a university party six years ago. Then things got serious; and even though there is still some uncertainty about who proposed to whom, in September the couple were married at the same place where it all started: the University Park in Aarhus.
“Do you fancy a quick look at the basement under the Physics Department? There’s a particle accelerator and all kinds of cool gadgets down there.”
Britt Videbæk Fredsgaard can’t help smiling when she recalls how Steffen Videbæk Fredsgaard tried to win her heart six years ago.
It was late at night, at a party organised by “TÅGEKAMMERET” (the committee that arranges parties and special events for students at the Faculty of Science and Technology at AU).
Britt is a student of mathematics and economics, while Steffen is studying physics with mathematics as a subsidiary subject plus computer science. They are both active members of the party committee. Britt used to be the treasurer, while Steffen has just been through the chair.
“At least you didn’t say ‘no’,” he defends himself. But Britt makes it clear that the particle accelerator wasn’t the real reason she agreed to go down into the basement with Steffen.
The university feels like home
The relationship developed fast after the first night.
“We moved in together almost immediately,” says Britt. At first they didn’t know where to live, but in the end they found a flat they could share. And in September the couple were married at a ceremony held in the amphitheatre in the University Park in Aarhus. The City Hall was too impersonal a venue, explains Britt. And neither of them wanted to be married in church. So the university provided the perfect setting.
“We’ve spent an awful lot of time here for many years now. Sometimes too much time, perhaps. So it’s almost like getting married at home,” says Steffen.
“He’s not joking. We spend most of our waking hours at the university, and we’re involved in most of the things that go on here. We often spend 12-16 hours a day here; and we also hang out here when we’re not studying because this is where our friends are. The university has always meant a lot to us. It’s the place where we first met, and this is where our social network is,” explains Britt.
A soldier in Afghanistan
Steffen and Britt have both had crises during their time as students, and not only in the initial stages. But things improved when they got involved in student clubs and student politics.
“That’s what has kept me going,” says Britt.
“I was a student at the University of Copenhagen for six months before starting here in 2007. I left Copenhagen because it was difficult to build up a social network. So when I started at AU the first thing I did was to get involved in the party committee, and that has definitely helped me through the course.”
Steffen started at AU in 2006, three days after returning from a six-month stint as a soldier in Afghanistan.
“I know it sounds unlikely, but in some ways life as a student was tougher than being a soldier. The army provides you with a firm framework for everything you do. But the framework at university is very broad and loose – you have to define many things yourself. The party committee gave me the chance to find the kind of friendships I missed after leaving the army.”
The technocrat versus the romantic
Britt and Steffen had nothing against the idea of getting married, although each for different reasons.
“The technocrat in me knew that some things are easier when you’re married. If one of us dies in a road accident, for instance. There are also a few tax advantages, and you don’t have to write a will when you’re married.”
The more romantic half of the couple interrupts:
“We’d been together for four years. Then we started talking about getting married because we couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else. We were made for each other, so for me getting married was a natural step to take,” says Britt.
Who popped the question?
It was almost pure chance that the couple got married – they’re only poor students, after all. Or to be a bit more precise: it was the result of their fascination for numbers. Steffen had seen a documentary about people getting married on 11.11.11.
“So I told Britt that if we ever got married it would have to be on 7 September 2013 (when the Danes say ‘7-9-13’ it means ‘touch wood’, ed.). I thought that would be fun, like saying we were hoping for the best. Although actually that’s not how we feel about each other at all. We’re in no doubt that we’ll stick together for the rest of our lives.”
Britt thought it was a great idea. She set up an event called “wedding” in their shared Google diary, which resulted in Steffen getting an automatic e-mail from Google with an invitation to his own wedding.
Britt had actually popped the question on a previous occasion. On 29 February. According to ancient tradition, this is the day when women are allowed to propose to men.
“I got the idea while I was watching a TV programme about leap years with a girlfriend. The man has to give the woman 12 pairs of silk gloves if he says ‘no’. I thought I’d quite like to own 12 pairs of silk gloves, so I shouted out to Steffen (who was standing in the kitchen) and asked him to marry me.”
“I think she under-estimated how tight-fisted I can be,” explains Steffen, who replied “All right then, I don’t mind.” But a few years passed before they announced that they were actually engaged. And once again it was Steffen’s mathematical brain that dictated the pace of events.
“Traditionally people are never engaged for more than a year before getting married. So on 7 September 2012 I changed my Facebook status to ‘engaged’, giving us the maximum possible time to get used to the idea of getting married,” says Steffen with a smile.
That evening Britt was at a Sunny Beach theme party at the university. She was already three sheets to the wind when one of her girlfriends told her that Steffen had changed his Facebook status to ‘engaged’, which probably meant that she was engaged too.
“My world turned upside down. I phoned him and called him an idiot. I cried all evening. From sheer delight.”
Once the dust had settled and her hangover had disappeared, they celebrated their engagement properly with rings and champagne.
And on one of the last days of late summer they finally said ‘yes’ to each other under the sundial in the University Park, with their family and friends sitting around them and to the tones of the Aarhus Girls’ Choir.
“Now you have to get used to being man and wife instead of just being partners,” said the master of ceremonies during the non-religious ceremony. And soon they will have to get used to not being students, as well. After seven and six eventful years at Aarhus University respectively, they will soon be graduating. Steffen is starting his thesis shortly, and has just got a job at Bjerringbro High School. And Britt is starting her thesis in October.
Translated by Nicholas Wrigley